The dreaded drop in the massacre of Verona. Honor your father A few days after the massacre of the accountant of Verona, the reports say that the motive for the tragic event was the feared abandonment by his family. Maybe it was not necessary to wait for them to be excluded or economic problems working to try to understand even if part of the causes of an act so seemingly absurd. Nothing can upset because the human mind as well as "exclusion from the herd." For heaven's sake, we must speak of each other with extreme caution and respect, but should not overlook. Among other things, the story is tragically similar to the one that occurred in a similar way only a few months ago, where even then a minute in a family killed his wife and children before committing suicide. Even then, the economic, social, cultural, were of high standard. But how is it likely that even a separation from his family may have caused such a reaction?
The act has no justification, of course, but it can and must somehow be explained. Clearly, the devotion to family, the emotional investment, the programs of life, were such as to render unacceptable the epilogue that the story seemed to take. His wife had already turned to move elsewhere, and certainly the communication between them was locked in a hard return. A famous
psychobiologists says that despite all relationships can go through, all the reports come from the beginning planned for a separation point . This assumption apparently contradictory, in my opinion is a profound truth, and tells the tragic nature of some perverse evolution of affective relationships. The ambivalence in which the human person is in fact at the evoluzioned of affective relationships, sometimes becomes agonizing. We know that the deepest need of man is the attainment of the "profound unity with everything," the only source of deep gratification and true peace. This union we can experiment in human relationships, then taking in these cases even spiritual value more than psychological. When the depth of the relationship increases, more and more we realize that we can not (and do not want) to go back. This leads to very high levels of pain when in the report are still present problems that arise from its difficulties to continue for a further level of depth. The initial motivations, supported by the easy falling in love and all the enjoyment that the relationship of attorney, disappear more and more replaced by reasons that allow a greater understanding of the meaning of earthly existence, and meaning of human relationships in general. Usually, when no separation occurs, there are two possible scenarios, ie a block hostile a stage of great suffering, or the gradual progress in a phase of greater maturity in the individual report.
Although usually people are capable of a sufficient respect for others, in other cases we arrive at the limit of control of their personal suffering. This is the stage where we have the possibility of growth, provided in our ancestral memories to find the "program files" for a resolution of the crisis, or that mature new "program files" to solve. It may sound simple, but basically our brain is like a computer. When the emotional and intellectual resources are not sufficient, in particular situations, in a split second some areas of the brain are blocked, not allowing more than a fair assessment, for lack of free access to all the functions of those areas.
And here it should be born throughout our greatest sympathy for him at that point it can no longer do what he himself would perform in a detached situation, or something useful and healthy. That same person, if he could observe the situation from the outside, he would know easily tell what is appropriate and what is absurd!
The point then is not to find a reason that justifies it, but get ready to understand that beyond a certain point force attempting to separate emotional damage sometimes devastating results. This should not block people that in situations in which the process of personal growth within the life of the couple and the family needs evolve. But the junction where all inevitably come to us is whether to invest more on the fact that all relationships can go all the way , or all relationships are born from the beginning to the point of separation.
In both cases, in fact, to do the inner work is expensive in terms of resource economics and psychological costs (and materials). The point then is to understand what might be the right way, and do not pretend that either of these streets makes us the easy solution. A then sometimes confuse the need for psychological separation in need of marital separation, but the first to evolve usually will not need the second. When a couple and a family go through this kind of crisis, it would be desirable for a serious moment of reflection on the psychological and spiritual. We can not think that our autonomy is real when we fail to consider openly and clearly all the terms of the problem.
Dear reader, I hope I have given some important inputs. But if you're going through or gone through a phase that may resemble the one described, stop to consider, and if you can face a person mature enough and wise, to know you are well advised.
Thanks for your attention. We welcome comments, criticisms or enrichment in this paper.
Love, Henry.
